MyCatholicSource.com - 'Quick Help' Page: Preparing For Marriage

Answer / Resources:

[click link(s) below, as applicable]

Regarding preparing for marriage, the Catechism of Pope St. Pius X states...

Q. How should those about to be married prepare themselves to receive this sacrament with fruit?

A. In order to receive this sacrament with fruit, those about to be married should: (1) Earnestly recommend themselves to God, so as to know His will and obtain the graces necessary for that state; (2) Consult their parents before making any promise, because obedience and the respect due to them demand this;⁺ (3) Prepare themselves by a good confession, or, if necessary, a general confession of their whole life; (4) Avoid all dangerous familiarity in word or act while in each other's company.

The Baltimore Catechism states...

Q. What should Catholics do to prepare for a holy and happy marriage?

A. To prepare for a holy and happy marriage, Catholics should: first, pray that God may direct their choice; second, seek the advice of their parents⁺ and confessors; third, practice the virtues, especially chastity: fourth, frequently receive [worthily] the sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist.

⁺Note that above references to parents doubtless assumes certain things [e.g. good, orthodox (small 'o'), available Catholic parents with proper motives who are sincerely interested in the spiritual well-being of their offspring]. Furthermore, note that obedience to parents has appropriate limits.

As to what are the 'most important' things in preparing for a Catholic wedding, I can only give my opinion. Remember that the wedding ceremony may be an hour or so long, but marriage is for life – and it may have a significant effect on one's health, happiness, offspring, and even on one's chances for salvation – so I would concern myself far more with preparation for the marriage than with wedding plans. That being said, my first thoughts are...

* To be sure that both the man and woman are capable of marriage and have no impediments

* To be sure that both parties understand and unwaveringly accept that marriage is for life, no matter what comes after they say 'I do'

* To be certain that both parties are sufficiently mature and spiritually prepared for marriage

* To be sure that both parties have the proper intentions/dispositions (including the intent to be faithful to each other for their entire lives)

* To be sure that both parties are compatible spiritually (e.g. both are spiritually likeminded, practicing Catholics)

* To be certain that both parties can enter into a valid sacramental marriage

* To be confident that both parties place God 'first' in their lives

* To shun mixed marriage (try here for more on this topic)

* To be certain that decisions regarding selection of a partner have not been merely superficial (e.g. based on one's looks or recreational preferences)

* That the man & woman be extremely confident in the good character of each another [e.g. by looking at each party's past & present actions (not just words), by considering how they react to difficult situations & conflicts, by considering their commitment to others, and even putting sufficient thought into the other party's upbringing/family life, etc.]

* That sufficient time has passed in order to really know the other person (but not too much time that their commitment could be questionable)

* That each party's motives for marriage are proper

* To make sure the couple understands & accepts primary purpose of marriage and is fully open to lovingly receive all the new lives that God may choose to bless them with

* To be sure that the couple appreciates the God-given, traditional roles of men & women (including the husband being the breadwinner for the family and the wife having a duty of obedience)

* To follow all proper requirements for marriage in the church

* To sincerely love each other and seek the other's good

* To pray diligently (perhaps praying the rosary together daily for their upcoming marriage)

As for the wedding ceremony itself, my first thoughts are...

* Always puts God first

* Include the Blessed Virgin Mary in the ceremony (e.g. prayerfully & lovingly place flowers at Our Lady's statue)

* Ensure that the couple is in a state of grace before the ceremony

* Keep in mind that it won't matter how beautiful the ceremony was if the marriage itself is bad

* Ensure that the couple & and the entire bridal party is modestly dressed (and the guests as well)

* Ensure that attendees know not to receive Holy Communion unless they are properly disposed Catholics in a state of grace

* Consider seeking a traditional Nuptial Mass [Note: Remember that the faithful are entitled to request ALL sacraments according to their traditional rites, including the Nuptial Mass (try here for information).]

* Follow all requirements for a proper Catholic wedding

* Do not overspend on a wedding that may harm your future (e.g. if blessing of a child comes right away)

* Do all in your power to seek God's blessings for your marriage

Reminder: We make no guarantee whatsoever regarding any item herein. Items herein may be the opinions of their authors and do not necessarily reflect our views. All applicable items may be subject to change at any time without notice. Utilize any link(s) appearing on this page at your own risk. For more terms information, see "Important Notice" below.