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Adoption: The Loving Choice
to Catholic Life Section | The Gift
Adoption: The Loving Choice
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the attack on life also comes the attack on adoption. Pro-lifers have
pointed out how the 'pro-choice' (really pro-abortion) movement has been
an opponent of adoption, leading many to discount the idea of adoption.
In fact, there are many myths surrounding adoption. For example:
"People don't adopt anymore"
Adoption figures may be as high as 4-5% of births, about 40,000 - 50,000 adoptions a year (with an estimated
20,000+ babies of U.S. birth). Many, many families are affected by
"The birth parents will come back for the
Contested adoptions may be as low as 1%. When
adoptions are finalized, the law regards the adoptive family
the child's family.
"Placing a child for adoption means the
mother didn't care for or doesn't love the baby"
mother cares so much that she does what is best for the baby:
than kill it (abortion), the birth mother entrusts it to loving
than try raise it, she gives it two parents who are ready and equipped
to give it a proper upbringing.
fact that a woman isn't ready or able to raise a child for 20ish
years does not mean she doesn't love the child. As we see in
Holy Scripture, the true mother - the one that really loves the
child - is even willing to give the child up in order to protect
it (1 Kings 3:16-28).
"The mother is cheating the child"
The mother is giving the child the gift of
life and the gift of good parents. Research shows that adoptees
may be better adjusted and generally have a strong attachment to
their adoptive parents.
"The child is better off with its biological
Children adopted to two parent families
may have far fewer health, behavioral, and educational problems
than those raised by a single parent.
"Adoptees are maladjusted"
Adoption has a proven record of success. In
fact, adoptees generally rate their adoptive parents highly and may be better
adjusted than others who weren't adopted. Those who attempt to raise
children when they are not ready for the responsibility often are
the ones who have maladjusted children.
"Adoption is abandoning my child"
Adoption is the entrustment of your child
to new parents who are better equipped for the lifelong commitment
of raising it.
"Adoption hurts the mother or the child"
benefits everyone - the birth parents, the child, and the adoptive
Benefits for the mother may include:
Satisfaction of knowing you provided
your child with a loving home and capable parents, the kind of
home you would provide yourself if you could
Medical / financial assistance
Abortion-minded women may avoid the
medical complications and future psychological and health
concerns associated with abortion
here for more information
Ability to pursue dreams knowing that
your child is being properly taken care of
Freedom from guilt associated with the
serious crime of abortion or with attempting to raise a child
in a poor environment
happy knowledge that you provided a childless couple with a
Benefits for the child may include:
Rather than being aborted (killed), it
may enjoy it's very life!
A loving home with two parents who are
willing and ready - and have time - to parent
An emotionally mature, positive, and
nurturing environment (possibly with siblings)
Benefits for the adoptive parents may
"One who gives birth to a child should raise
a child is an approximate 9 month long biological function of that
most women are able to do when their body is sufficiently mature.
The same woman who may be able to bear a child may be completely
unsuited to raise the child.
a child is a lifetime commitment that is completely distinct and
different from bearing one. Successfully raising a child
requires a sufficient degree of maturity as well as a firm
commitment, a lot of time, and certain resources.
The two functions are completely different. A
simple look at the facts will show you the damage caused to
children by being raised by biological parents who were ill-suited
"I couldn't do that to my child"
isn't doing something "to" a child, it is doing
something "for" a child. It is wanting and trying to
provide the best possible upbringing for the child.
Rather than killing the child (abortion) or
raising it in an environment that evidence shows is not ideal
(e.g. single parent families, families with immature parents),
adoption may provide the child with a happy, loving, emotionally
mature upbringing, where they can develop into happy, healthy
adults. Isn't that what you really want for your child?
"Adoption is giving up my child"
"Adoption is not the giving up of the
child, but the giving of the child to the adoptive parents and the
giving of the adoptive parents to the child."
"Only a bad parent gives their child up for
a bad parent might kill their child (abortion) or try to raise it
themselves in a improper environment.
To be a good parent means putting the
child first. Those who place their child for adoption may do
so to benefit of the child, not being concerned about a selfish
desire not to be considered a "bad parent". This may be
illustrated by Holy Scripture where we find that the good mother is
even willing to give the child up in order to protect it (1 Kings
Note that even if one may not make a good
parent now, it doesn't mean that he or she will never make a good
parent. A child, however, can't wait around. They need good
"Adoptive parents won't love my child as much
as I would"
Love is unrelated to biology. Adoptive
parents love their adoptive children as much as biological parents
love theirs. Adopted children are loved, wanted, and
"There is a long wait for adoption"
The average wait for a domestic adoption
may be less than two years. As many as 93% may have been
completed in under two years.
"Adoptions are expensive"
The costs of adoption may be comparable to
the cost of giving birth at a hospital. The cost may be
comparable to the cost of a car (but unlike a car, an adoption is
precious and lasts a lifetime!)
"Adoption is the buying of a baby"
Adoption is regulated by law and the
buying of children is illegal. Expenses are for the actual costs
related to the adoption, not a price for the child.
"There is no one to take my baby"
There are thousands and thousands of
people waiting and anxious to adopt babies. There are even many
people on waiting lists to adopt children with a variety of very serious
Unfortunately, these anti-adoption myths are
likely to continue since the pro-abortion side has been "waging
war" against adoption. They may provide bad information, myths,
or "horror stories" to attempt to keep a woman from
considering adoption. Or, despite the term 'choice', they may fail to
inform a woman of the choice for adoption. Remember that each woman
that places her child for adoption is one less candidate for abortion.
And, fewer abortions mean less money for them.
you need assistance with placing your child for adoption, try contacting your
local Catholic parish or diocese. (Of course, you may contact them even
if you are not Catholic or if you have not been practicing your faith.)
you for choosing the loving option of adoption!
am extremely grateful that my biological mother choose to
give me life. I had a happy childhood which included two
loving parents. She did the loving and right thing." (Actual
Testimony From An Adopted Child)
have seen adoption firsthand. It is beautiful. A loving
home, two mature, loving parents... I am so grateful that my
spouse's biological mother did the right thing and brought
her child into the world. I can't imagine my life without my
spouse. If she had made some other 'choice' my family wouldn't
even exist." (Actual Testimony From Spouse Of An
is a Gift From God
Family & Home (Reflections)
Scripture / Parables
Catholic Dogma Ever Change?
the 1917 Code of Canon Law Still Applicable?
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